It can't hurt worse...

Revival

2010-07-08T06:49:00.001-07:00

Sorry people, been away for quite a while. Wouldn't say its been a nice trip.

"Have you met anyone who has changed you?"
Tough question. My answer?
No Clue.
Somehow the person who was supposed to just walked right out.
Right out the door. Without a goodbye.
And she just had to turn around.
And scream IHATEYOU back at me.

Look, somehow I dont really want to go to sleep
with this thing at the back of my head
telling me its my fault.
Look, maybe i've changed. Maybe we've all just gotten busier.
I dont really want to live with this ):
Somehow it just feels lonely.
Without that someone who used to listen to you.
Talked to you.
Gave you the smile you needed.
Somehow, another reason to get out of bed every morning.

Somehow its all gone.
And I've got no clue of how and why.
Maybe its moving on.
Maybe you really were just another part of my life.
Just another flower by the roadside.
Cheering me up till one day i eventually left.

Maybe not just a flower...
Maybe a whole field full of flowers.
And somehow I just dont want to leave.

But i guess even if i didnt, you would.

If you want, we could
check back in a few months then.

Your name just reminds me
of how :) turned into ._.
maybe even >:(

Well I guess this is it.

I feel so Ne-Yo right now.
Somehow I'm mad, but
I really mean it when I say
I didnt want to hurt you

Seeya,
honey

I'll still be here,
it just depends on whether you'd come back for me

2010-02-24T04:07:00.001-08:00

I seriously think the world is so screwed up

Why the fudge can't they move their asses to the left.
3 minutes of my life, wasted on those fudgetards. 3 WHOLE MINUTES.
Do you know what 3 minutes means?! With 2 tests tomorrow 3 minutes can cause me half a mark. What if I fail by half a mark?!
People, MOVE YOUR ASSES TO THE LEFT, cause no one wants to waste their time on 'tards who dont know how to think for others.
Damn, calm as I should be, I cannot be this time.

And damn, people cant appreciate things.
I cover your blankets at night, I cook for you, I play with you, I dont even charge you for all that and all you can do is write me a note "fuck you, save my game you asshole".
Its just a game, bytheway. Save, so what?
Try cooking for me, putting me in bed and entertaining me for one day. You think its easy?
If playing YOUR psp is wrong, then think about this.
All I had in P6, was my homework. At that time i never even thought of touching a psp and now you got me the yousaveagameonmypspandsoyoureafucktard attitude?
So much for love and appreciation.

The world is just so screwed...

And while breeze tickles the sky...

2010-02-17T06:12:00.000-08:00

And maybe I was wrong, all the way from the start.
I was wrong, at least now i know i was.
Cause it wasn't meant to be.
And I can't help it.

I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I didn't meant to, honest!
Maybe it was a moment of carelessness, maybe even stupidity.
I just have this gut feeling it won't work out. If this stays then what about tomorrow?
What about ten years later? What about forever?
I have to stop. Stop now, as a matter of fact.
I'm sorry for any misconceptions, I'm sorry for everything.
Friends ain't that bad... I guess...

Friends... hmm I guess I realised what true friends were today :)
Thanks, my friends, for waking me up.
It was kind of a cold-cup-of-water-to-my-face kinda thing, though you didnt see it.
I'm grateful, and I guess I will always be :)
Hope we stay friends forever, true friends :)

You were right, R, there are true friends, real friends, best friends and just friends :)

Valentine's Day

2010-02-13T09:47:00.000-08:00

"And I'll hold you tight and never let go..."

And its valentine's day again
And while people stay up as long as they can
I'll stay up with my cup of wine
Still wondering, where's my valentine...

I'd sit up all night,
Thinking of what's out of sight
Everything feels quite right
I'd do anything, to just see you, tonight

And while I sit up to think of you
I can't help but wonder too,
Wonder while I sit here with no clue,
If you ever think of me too...

I've thought of all the things we could do
We could set off, and colour all the things we drew
Or we could sit down and talk things through
Anything under the moon, as long as its with you

And I'll kiss you under the moonlight
And I'll hug you till the sun's up bright
And I'll miss you when youre not near
And I'll whisper with you while youre here
And I'll hold your hand while we watch the sun set
And I'll watch your back, so you'll never have to fret
And with you, we'll shoot the cupid' bow
And never let the feeling slow

All that, cause I love you so...

To my future valentine,
I know what to do to make you mine
So you dont really have to hide
Cause my love's like a train, except you can't alight

2010-02-06T01:52:00.000-08:00

And much as I want to go out for a good cause I don't have one.

Yes, someone help me please. It's saturday, and I'm not supposed to be at home.
Not that you are, but you get what I mean.
When we're working we wish we were free but when we're free we wish we were working.
I should be out. Yes I should. And I very well know that.
Its just no one can come out with me. Or maybe no one wants to.
I dont know. Someone call me out please! (:

4 weeks has gone by haha. Fast, no? I've met you for four weeks, just four.
And I can find myself waiting by my phone for your text
hmm not really sure what to say now
just, happy birthday! now youre 15! (:
ah, yes, sweet fifteen haha (: quite marks the start of your teenage life.
well, thats what the experts say
All the fullmarks and praises and exams and all have brought you here
So just enjoy today, cause there'll only be one fifteenthbirthday for you haha (:

Happy Birthday! (: bestie haha :P

2010-02-02T22:13:00.000-08:00

Its when you grow old that you decide that "Oh hey, thats how much i really wanted to see my childhood dreams come true" - Dr. Randy Pausch

It's so true isn't it? Took me awhile to realise ><
One of my childhood dreams in p6 was to actually go to Paris with *AHEMs* and kinda just enjoy my time there with her. And now it's kind of coming true! sort of.. at least :)

Sometimes, I don't know if its anticipation, a sugar rush or its just me, but sometimes I just stay up waiting for her text even though I'm not even sure if she's HER. Sounds stupid but still, can't really help it.
If the ceilings could talk, I think they'd know me very well right now, cause I seem to stare at them too much and it seems rude so it wouldn't be that rude if I knew them right? Anyway its good to make more friends. okay nevermind :X

Its been 2 days... Twoooooo days...
As if not coming to class isn't enough. Not being able to see you was worse.
And now you're leaving me in suspense. 7 words is enough to cause a sleepless night. If it weren't for science I'd be absent for another week (thanks, sleeping pills).
It kind of depends, really. Depends on how I look at it.
Losing you's a big matter, so much as I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to lose you either.
Sounds selfish, i guess. Its not difficult to figure out, no? ; You do know it, I ____ you, but love doesn't work that way. It has to be mutual, i guess.
Its just stereotype that I'm supposed to be the one making the first move.
But somehow I'm just not too sure yet.
I think this makes me selfish, cause much as you want to know, I want to know too.

In this area of life, I think its better to be more open. Letting your head lead isn't really... constructive, lets call it. Seeing her everyday and not telling kind of aches.
"OHHH,.. so this is coming from the guy who's telling me he doesn't dare to tell her yet"
Yes I know thats what youre thinking. Easier said than done, sometimes.
But still, it does make sense, no?

I think thinking at night helps, cause there's nothing better than the clear sky and cool breeze.
Even if you couldn't watch over her you could still say "at least the stars are watching over her "
It'll help, I think. It does for me.
Still it hurts. Knowing you keep something inside for her while she doesn't even notice.
At least I think she doesnt.
But I still stick to my words ; I mean it when I say it :)

And while I'm still fantasising, I'll wonder,
Will I hurt her if this goes on?

Thanks for all your calls/smses to check if i was okay (:

2010-02-02T05:42:00.000-08:00

While the stars come out to wander
And singles start to ponder
I myself will think its so true,
Cause I do lie awake to miss you

Sometimes even though I'm ailing
I know my heart's still not failing
I'll still keep staring at my phone
Cause when you text, I don't feel so alone

It's quite stupid,
Come to think of it,
While people fear pain,
its love they still entertain

And while I still can't figure out why
It's still something I cannot deny
Cause I find myself still waiting
Even when you're already sleeping

It happened on the first ; a Monday
Dont care what they say ; it wasn't mundane
Took just a thought and no more
Cause its hesitation i abhor

I knew I wanted to see you
Not even sure if I should
Much as I needed to see you
Now it's a matter of whether I could

I still came, cause there was hope
Didn't care if people called me a dope
Cause it was all I wanted to do
Was it stupid? No, thank yew

So while I lay awake to miss you
I still teared cause I missed you
It was then that I needed you near,
Caused I really wished you were here

[Oh oh, for you I would've done whatever
And I just can't believe we ain't together
And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losing you
You know I'd do anything, there's no song we can't sing]

And as the skies grow darker
I stay up to think of you longer
If there was a star for every time i thought of you,
I think they sky would be bright blue...

As the nights grow longer,
Emotions do grow stronger,
If its pain then wish it away,
If you're alone, then I'll be here to stay
I'm just a call/sms away :)

And in the silence of the night,
When the time feels just right,
Looking at your eyes I'll be mesmerised
I'll love you so much it'll feel like a crime
And, as much as you'd want to,
I'll lean down, to kiss you

2010-01-31T02:16:00.000-08:00

Please take a good look
on the mirror
Cause what i see is me and you
it's already over

Don't live in the past
Cause change is a must
Time flies fast,
but don't misplace your trust

If you must, leave now
on your way, dont shout
Cause true love cannot wait
Listen to your future soulmate
Can you hear him?
Answer, even if its grim
Don't wait,
Or he'll be gone in a whim

If you look at your timeline
No matter how much you try to find
There was and never will be a me
No matter how much you disagree

Callous, you say?
Sorry, but you'll be in dismay
Cause it's too late now
Living a lie is something my heart wont allow

What's over isn't whats new
So dont tell me you thought it through
What was and what will be
Your heartbreaking was in the first degree

Stay where you are
Even better if its real far
When the sky turns light blue
I know I won't be spending it with you

When you've got him
Love was everything, it did seem
so now that he's gone
You've got no one to love till dawn
Don't take me as paper
Cause I won't be a puppeted lover
What I want is forever
Someone to trust, no matter whatever

So just live your own life
Cause I'm not worth your strife
Look up look under
But don't hide under the covers
Find someone who's like you
Someone who hates me too
Cause he'll trust you with his life
And you'll just stab him like a knife
just when he thought you'd be his wife

Love is unfair
Its hard to find someone to share
Yes, it may sound cliche
But still, L'amour Est Injuste...

When It all started

2010-01-25T05:08:00.001-08:00

We'd talk for hours on end
come to think of it, we also played pretend
Didnt matter if the sky was grey
We'd talk, and never run out of words to say

It all started with a pickup line
That made our friendship intertwine
Then it started, everything, like a rhyme
Hardly meet anyone, so sublime

We had so much to say
so much to think
but now to say i love you,
dont even need to blink

We had so many thoughts
so much to fantasise
Everything's been so smooth
and we can even romanticise

We'd tell our children how we met
I promise, till that time, I won't forget
Forget that it was cause i asked for your number
If not, I'd still be in life's big slumber

Remember it all, remember the past
Remember the love we started, that will last
See the present, anticipate the future
I see the days, where we wont break , ever

I'd be proud to show my friends
That I have a wonderful girlfriend
I'd be proud to dictate
that our love would forever ascend
I'd be proud to dictate
The story with no " the end"
Where the prince met the princess
and held her by the hand
and said "girl, it all started,
and it wasn't planned,
I'd still ask for your number,
cause its something others wont understand."

Do you see it now?
What we can await
Its like the start of school,
and we'll never be late

Lets make it now
cause i know you cant wait
the smile on my face
was put by my future soul mate.

Its inevitable, and i know its true
because youre the cloud in my sky so blue
If my heart was a file, you'd be the paper
because I'd keep you in here, as long as forever...

-Sweet sweet love~<3

Paper planes

2010-01-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

I bought some paper
At some shop in Denver
And with my own creative hands,
and a whole lot of plans,
We made the day, hand in hand
something we could expand

We ran a whole day
Though the sky did seem gray
And fought the puddles back
To buy the things that we lacked
I took hours to complete,
Wont matter if you love it
And then you yelled as we obtained
the most perfect, handmade paper plane~

I'll be all worned out
And you might try to get up but in vain
So let's spend,
Our afternoon in our paper plane.

Leave your goggles behind
Reach out as we fly past our dreams
I can't wait,
to make our dreams, as real as they may seem

~Music~
~La la la la...~

[Remix to "Hot air balloon" by Owl city]
-Cancel the first line of the original and you can sing this along xP

When It's Over

2010-01-08T04:18:00.000-08:00

When It's Over

It's over. Is it?
It failed. Did it?
Should we, forget it?
Should we, hide it?...

It was good, until then
It did end, but when?
When i thought that,
I'd be the one to hold your hand

Was something wrong? I guess so
Was nothing right? Don't know
Am i sad? Maybe,
But at the very least, i don't show

The road seems to groan,
The wind, still as cold
Under the light of a staring moon,
Walks a man, so alone

I've been here, seen this
Been there, done that
I feel it, its different
because now, it seems so sad

Sad because of what I was,
and sad because of what I will be
sad because we'll never be one
sad because we never will be...

I'm changing, or maybe
I've changed
Its over, it really is
And sadly, it wasn't arranged

The day i found myself,
Not waiting for your text
The day i found that it was
getting lesser, and lesser, perplexed

More often that not,
I've lost what I sought
But less often than I do,
I find someone, someone like you

I guess, its no more late nights
No more useless fights
No more climbing heights
No more sleepless nights...

The day will come,
when I fall for someone else
When it comes, I'll know
that I wont be looking inside myself

I'll be so sure,
It seem like it was planned
That day might not be far,
Might even be close at hand

The wind will pass,
The clouds will fade,
Sometimes we have to give in,
Even if, it cuts like a blade...

When I Saw You

2009-12-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

Today was the last day
And almost the last memory I can keep
The memory of us all
The happiness, the sensation of when we meet

One of the last,
But one to remember
One that went so fast
Sadly our class was not meant to last forever'

One of the last days we see
One of the last days we go "hee hee"
One of the last days we cheer
One of the last days I shall weep

I have been part of 2F
And I shall always be
And i know undoubtedly
That 2F will always be a part of me

Because its been long
Although it seemed short
All the times that we played together
All the times that we have fought

All the things we shall remember
All the things we shall take
And for all of us to meet again
Its the path that we have to make

The first day we met
And the last day we depart
I wish to say this in joy
But i carry an aching heart

I love you all
I sincerely do
I hope that internally
We can all stay cool

No more fights,
No more struggles
No more crying
No more snuggles...

Its the last day we are
But not the last day we shall be
Its the last day we see
All the places, we have been...

Its been a road so long
And together we've walked
Though we now take different roads
It's not that last time we will talk

I will keep in touch
I will talk to all
I just hope that everyone,
Dosen't hang up on my call

So long, my dear classmates
We shall take our paths
However we still stay as one
In our one and only, merry heart

I hope we hold no grudges
I hope we bring no fear
We shall carry pictures of the past
Of the love that's not just mere...

To all of 2F,
Quan Rui
With L-O-V-E~ :)

Last

2009-11-05T02:28:00.000-08:00

Last

With no plan, with no thought
I will write this, to attempt what I've sought
With a goal, with a heart
I would like to say it before we depart...

Its our last day, last lesson
In our class 2F
But i do hope that all this continues
All this friendship that we all have...

Its our last day together,
Its our last day to try
Its our last day to wonder
What we want and why

Yes it will be my last try
My last try to get what i want
However i have always known
so wonder? I shan't

To come in words,
Or to come in flowers,
I hope it matters not.
Because the main point of it all
is your answer, yes or not

It dosen't matter if its not now
You can tell me, sure you can
I will wait, be it ten or twenty
I will only hold your hand.

Only yours and no one elses,
I promise not to stray
After all i've done and what ive been through
I hope that you can trust me today
No, not just today
I hope it will be all the way...

With you, I can see
See what the world means to me
With you, I have tried
Tried to show the talent I used to hide

I have tried, i really have
But I did not hit the mark
But i hope you'll like me for who i am,
And not someone who just tries hard,
Tries hard to be who you want him to be
Tries hard to let you see...

Yes i do try hard to let you see
Let you see that I have you in me
However I do hope you do not take it wrong
All my negatives, i will amend like a song

After having waited for so long,
I do hope you can finally know
Know the extent of this feeling
And how much I love you so

Will you say no again?
Or will you not
Because it quite matters alot

Will you tell me to wait?
Because i'm sure that thought I'd be late,
I'd still keep my love in your fate...

2 Years it has been
And many more to go
I just hope that it can start now
so as to not stop this flow

Its been 2 years,
my long and tiring wait
But my fuel that has driven me through
Is the hope from my future soul mate

Youre more than just a girl to me
Youre the sugar in my high
Youre the strength behind my might,
And in my cave, youre my light

Youre the candle in my cave
Youre the birdsong in the day
Youre the target in my hike
And youre all i dream when i sleep at night...

Right Road, Wrong Lane

2009-10-03T06:05:00.000-07:00

Right Road, Wrong Lane

I was running on the last lane

Got this crazy kind of feeling that I can't explain

Don't know what the hell I'm doing

But I'm doing it for you...

I turned into the fast lane

And I had this crazy surge like I felt no pain

Don't know why it's happening

But I know it's cause of you...

And I know you think I'm crazy

Or I just sound like I'm bored

I don't do dinner nor movies

But if i showed up at your door,

Would you give me one more minute?

Our stories far from finished,

We could fill in the rest of the pages,

We can do it slowly, in a number of stages

Just wanna say i miss you

I had to say this because I had to

And I've been through all the taxes

Now I'm speeding up cause you're running faster

It was raining on a Wednesday

The road was wet and i was skidding away

Told myself to keep on driving

cause I left my heart with you

I never thought that you would walk away

Every second I'm regretting that I didn't chase...

How could i have kept on driving

When I left my heart with you...

I know all your friends are against me

And I know you hate my car,

But when I don't drive a Mercedes,

Would it be that hard?

How can I get a second chance?

Don't want you slippin' outta my hands

Maybe we can turn out right,

I'm sure we sound all right...

Just hear me out before you go

There were things that i wanted you to know

Maybe we could do this right

And maybe we need not fight after tonight...

Now I'm speeding on the last lane

got this crazy kind of feeling that I can't explain

But i told myself to keep on driving

Even though I'm on the right road, wrong lane...

-Nihilist QuannRUi

- Inspiration from "Contagious - Boys Like Girls"

2009-09-30T04:43:00.000-07:00

Me, You, And My Tree...

Every road has it's walker

Every path, it's own way

But what if I carve my own road now

And start to walk on it today

Every pebble has it's place

Every tree, its own role

But whats the use of my strength

If my love i cannot show?

It's similar to imprisonment

Its more than just a mental restriction

Locked and hidden behind bars

Its worse than just a criminal conviction

These bars, this place

Who put me here?

The answer stand in front of me...

Myself, and my love so sheer...

Mice get caught in traps

Mosquitoes, in a net

But why is it that I myself

Have fallen into the trap i set?

It's dumb, its stupid

Its not something everyone seeks

But if it comes and knocks you down

Its more than just blood you leak

I stop, I stand, I bend down

I plant a seed into the ground

Care for, Love for

In hope that it grows at the speed of sound

What i seek, is a tree

A tree that grows neverendingly

In the sun, in the rain

On the path that seems so plain

I wish to see this tree grow

Grow, grow, and never stop

To see it grow, to see it climb

To see it reach the very top

This tree, this tree

It seems like a part of me

It will grow, it will live

Like my love, so endlessly...

My love will grow

My love will climb

Climb to the very top

To the very top, it will sublime...

Rubber Toys

2009-09-29T03:06:00.000-07:00

Rubber Toys

Throw me, hit me, hate me

Yup you can do all that

Leave me, Ignore me, Forget me,

No, because I'll still roll back...

You can try to tear me apart

But you'll only hurt yourself

You can try to give me away

But no, I won't belong to anyone else...

No, I don't want to

I dont want to leave you

Don't throw me away

Because everyday i wanna see you

Yes, I'm imperfect,

There are some things that I lack,

But there's one thing i know for sure,

Throw me away; I'll just bounce back...

When we talk,

Its one word answers

When we walk,

All you say are "See you later"s...

No, that's not it

Thats not what i want

Yes this world is not all about me

But are you sure this is what you want?

Yes you can't destroy me,

You can't tear me, rip me, leave me...

I'll still stay round, perfect as ever

And hopefully how special i am, you will see...

I'll wait here, I'll listen

I can keep quiet when you command

Just don't treat me like the wind,

There is nothing else that i demand...

I will wait, until you find another toy...

I will wait, even if i break and spoil...

I will wait, even when the rain comes down,

And I will wait, even if you make me frown...

Play with me,

When you're sad

Throw me,

When you're mad

Celebrate with me,

When you're glad

And be with me,

Since you're the best i have...

Rubber toys, they remind me

Remind of what i am

What i am, who i am

The ball that's in your hand...

I give you, all my love

All, like a round rubber ball

So imperfect, so flexible,

And hopefully you can give me your all...

Its been too long

2009-09-19T09:43:00.000-07:00

Its been too long,
That I haven't seen you play
Play with, joke with, tease with
All the things we used to say...

Its been quite a while
That we haven't talked a while
Just chat, Just talk, Just say...
All thats been exiled...

Its been quite a few months
That I've made contact with you
Be it talk to, tease you, squeeze you
Telling you how much I love you

Now it seems its hard,
Hard to say, to speak, to understand
Because its only now that I know,
that you've found your perfect man...

It was after i met you
That i knew what friends were
It was after i met you
That i saw who wanted me to be here...

It was after i met you
That i knew how to treasure
It was after i met you
That i knew love couldn't be measured...

Now its been too long...
Too long since you were gone
Too long since i didn't talk to you
Too long since the last time I shone

When was it, the last time i shone
The last time i shone in your eyes
Did that time even come?
Or was all i told myself just lies?...

Would you be better off without me?
Because I wish not to be a burden
I wish not to be someone
Who lives like a leech on a human

Tell me, when you're down
Tell me, when you're sad
Tell me when
He's done something to make you mad

Tell me when you need me there
Tell me when you need help
Tell me when
I have finally made your heart melt...

Maybe you've found him
Maybe I'm him
Maybe all i am doing now
Is just hallucinating

Maybe I'm living a lie,
Maybe you love me not
But there's something im sure of
You're all that i have sought

Yes, i may live a lie
Yes, i may be a joke
But theres one thing in which
I just wont give up hope

Yup, I love you
Thats all i really know
Thats the only thing that I
From my heart i cannot throw

I may live a lie
I may be a joke
But theres one thing that never changes
One day, you'll love me, i hope

Slowly

2009-09-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

Time might just take its place
Time might knock me down
Time might just erase my memory
Every sight, every sound...

Over time, I might forget
Forget the things I knew
Forget the shames, the sorrows the fear,
But i know i wont forget you

Its a feeling time can't erase
Only the strong heart can
But somehow, I just can't do it
It's much stronger, than way back then

Its hard, its difficult
Its near impossible
Its painful, Its torturous
Now I think its unammendable...

Its too late i guess,
the feeling's grown too strong
Maybe all i can do
is isolate myself from you for a time quite long...

The thought of it stabs
The thought of it hurts
The thought of it...
Maybe it just might work...

No wait, not just yet
Not until you tell me
Not until you tell me if
I could be the boy you see

Not just yet, i wont give up
I definitely wont
When there's hope, I'll seek it
Find it, take it, miss it i wont

Love you, for infinity
Care for you, definitely
Worry about you, circumstancially
Love you again, indefinitely...

Happy Birthday

2009-09-14T05:48:00.001-07:00

I don't know why
Why I did those stupid things
What went through my mind?
And I don't know why
Why I couldn't help you too
Guess that he was more than fine

When I'm not needed
I feel like I should be helping
When I'm needed
All I can do is the watching...

On some days, I'm happy
On others, I'm not
Sometimes it's others smiles,
The happiness that is sought
That brings joy to me
Something that cant be bought...

Sometimes your smile can be my sun
Light up my life, lead the way
And now I wish to thank you
On your very special day

Happy Belated Birthday!
I hope I'm not too late
I needed some courage to do this,
but earlier, it should've been said

Its your birthday, once a year
Only once, so do enjoy
I'm sure your family members
have more than just a little ploy

More than a ploy, more than words
to cheer you on this day
With words and songs and different gifts
And more than just things to say

Its your birthday, your special day
Where you celebrate with friends
And family and people around you
All the things, to you God sends...

People have dreams, people have fantasies
And people have wishes
On this special day, blow the candle
And think of it as more than just ashes...

Make a wish, for it might come true
And if not, I will
If possible, i will try my best
To make your wishes more than just a tale

Happy birthday, happy birthday
Enjoy this present day
For it will not come again
for the next three hundred and sixty five days =)

Happy Birthday

2009-09-14T05:48:00.000-07:00

Invisible

2009-09-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

Invisible

Sometimes, i feel i'm invisible
Sometimes, i feel i'm not there
Sometimes, i just feel that
You think of me as your worst nightmare

I'm transparent to your eyes
Walking past you like wind
I try my best to do all i can
To make you happy, to keep my conscience clean

I don't talk to you in school
I don't shake hands with you
I don't make contact with you at all
Though my mind tells me i want to

Everything is so sophisticated
Everything, so complicated
Everything, so contradictory
Everything, too alienated...

Sometimes i feel you miss me out
Sometimes i feel you hate me
Sometimes i feel you miss me out
Because you're afraid others will see

Fear of the world,
Fear of attention
Fear of everything
to do with retention

Yes, I make your life hard
Yes, I make your life suck
Yes, I make your life
totally devoid of luck...

You hate me, i can see
In all the inner parts of you
But through sheer kindness and sympathy
You don't want to hurt me too

Sometimes, I don't want to be invisible
Sometimes, I want to let you know
Sometimes, its good to forget the past
And move on with friendship, without slow

I wish we could talk like we did
Like we did back then
Like we did when we were close
Like we did, when we were...friends...

Don't, please don't
Please don't leave me out
I don't like this isolation
It makes me want to scream and shout...

Invincible

2009-09-03T03:40:00.000-07:00

Invincible

We were, thirteen and invincible
Just sitting in the middle
Just minding my own business
And i couldn't care less

It was, January and i was invincible
Everything was suttle
Nothing could move me,
Not even earthquakes, you see

It was, February and i was, invincible
The first month i met you, and also sat with you
It was a feeling i couldn't tell
But, all i know was that it was surely true

It came, March and i was, invincible
I enjoyed talking to you
And I'm sure you liked it too
Though i'm not sure if it was true

It zoomed, April and i was, invincible
I was sure i loved you
But no i didnt tell you
Because i thought these feelings weren't true

It arrived, May and i was, invincible
I was so sure i loved you
that i could tell you how true
And i wished that you were moved

It came, June and i was, invincible
The month when we were
Seperated, how sad i was
But friend there were for me to cheer

It flew, July and i was, invincible
We were almost best friends
and i enjoyed talking with you
It was so awesome, i'm dead sure it was true

It rocketed, August and i was, invincible
The first time i said that
I loved you and that was what i meant
But i was not sure if you would say yes

It went, September and i was, falling
Because we couldn't be
what i wished we would
Though not now, one day you'll see =]

It loomed, October and i was, standing up
The exams were looming
and i was studying
but also, about you i was thinking

It came, November and i was, invincible
Invincible once again thanks
To my good friends
But soon my ship sank

It sucked, December and i was, heartbroken
I hardly talked to you
Because i knew you didnt want me to
But i still kept my feelings true

It came, January and i was, headstrong
School had started
meaning i could see you again
But our friendship departed

It came, February and i was, heartbroken
I could see you daily
But you didn't talk to me
It was real pain, i hope you could see

It soared, March and i was, solemn
I tried to forget you
but try was all i could do
My love for you was just too true...

Flying again, April and i was, so upset
That you were behind me
and you, i couldn't see
Though my love was still growing like a tree

Running past, May and i was, rather down
We havent talked for three weeks
And i was still thinking of who i could be
To maybe allow you to see

It came, June and i was, just so dumb
I didn't talk to you
making it seven weeks
I started to feel, we could never be two...

It came, July and i was, inspired
I was sure, and if i could
I would be friends with you again
But avoiding was your mood

It just went, August and i was, barely standing
I tried to tell you
but no, my dream didnt come true
But love you still? i know i want to

I am, fourteen and invincible
Because my love stands strong
and nothing can break it down
This feeling will last more than long

My name is, Quan Rui and there's something i wish to say
That is, that i will love you to the very end
I'm not sure, if one day you give in
But if you do, i hope that your feelings will be really true~

-QuannRUi~ Still loving you

When All The World Falls

2009-08-24T03:28:00.000-07:00

I Will Still Love You
When your legs break its hard to stand
When your arms break its hard to work
When your head aches its hard to think
When your heart breaks, its hard to do anything at all...

Its amazing i can still think
in this sort of state
I guess love at 14
Is just not my fate...

You know its hard to face the world
When all you've got is gone
When all your time and energy
spent on her, never even shone...

Its hard to stand,
when it breaks your legs
Its hard to think
When it takes your head

I see the sky
But it looks down on me
I see the people below
And i feel i'm falling free...

Sometimes i feel
i feel so stupid
To have even fallen in love
why... so stupid...

I had a reason to smile
I had a reason to fight
I had a reason to believe
But now, where's my might?

It seems all harsh
It seems all crude
It seems that the world
Makes its beatings all brute...

When you've put your everything
When you've poured it all
Into one empty pail and care for it
Will you feel sad, if it's gone?

When you water a plant
and care for it for years
and to see it being chopped down
with the crackling sounds being all your hear

Do you feel the pain?
Do you see the hurt?
Do you comprehend what others have done
To cause all this pain and hurt...

When society rejects you
When everyone hates you
And you put all your love into something
And that thing hates you too

When you hurt others
When you create conflict
When you cause pain
Do you think of their hate?

I feel this pain, yes i do
And on this special day.
I promised i would tell her
and that was all i wished to say

Its over, it truly is
And maybe now, im free
But for now all i see ahead of me
is pain and agony

A man must stand up again
Even if he has no legs
With willpower, with internal strength
With more that just powerful pegs

I will stand again
And i will love her again.
I won't give up just yet
For her love is worth more than just this pain

I will soar, i will fly
I will look up to the sky
I will see, i will hear
I will bring her with me here...

Yes, i won't give up
No, not just yet
Until she says i stand no chance
There will be no girl i have met
Who can cause this much love
Who can cause this much care
Who can cause me to become this sad

I will stand up again
I will...

Until the day you love me
I wont give up
Until the day i die
My love for you won't dry up

I will still love you

When I Think Of You

2009-08-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

When i think of you...
Yes, it has come
Tomorrow is the day
the day when i would try
to confront and try to say

Anticipated, it has been
Time just seems so fast
It's been months since i first loved you
And for all i know, tomorrow might be the last...

Sometimes, on my window
I look out, and i wonder
Think about you, think about us
think about whether this will last forever

Sometimes, i think i can hear you
screaming in your mind over something that i did
Sometimes, i think i stop
but it seems that you're the only person i can keep in my head...

When you're lonely,
When you're sad
When you're down,
When you're mad..

I'll be there, i promise
I'll be with you, i promise
I'll help you stand
and I'll help you fly with the autumn breeze...

Build your wings on your way down
And I'll help you fly
Soar, and never look back
How beautiful you will be, my my...

If you will, if you may
Please bring me with you
For i wish to soar with you
hug you, keep you warm when it's cool...

Voices in my head, telling me i shouldn't
They tell me they know best
Voices in my head, telling me what to do
But i have to choose fast...

Which way? i can't tell
I just have to follow my heart
Nothing works without you
Everything is just too hard...

Will you help me stand?
Will you help me fly?
Will you help me,
Soar to the sky?

Bring me with you,
And i can help you
I wish to help you
And i want to help you

One day, if i fall
To never ending hell,
Please take with you
My love, and not tell...

It's once in a lifetime
Meaning there's no second chance
So i believe that i should
Tell you before its too late, while i still can

Tomorrow, its coming
Tomorrow, i want to find you there
Tomorrow, i want to hold on tight,
Tomorrow, i want to hear you say i love you, all fair...

Tomorrow, i will tell you
With the means of a box
With my poem inside
Concealed with my love, with a lock

The lock, with a key
and only this key
This key can open the lock
and this key is in your hand...

2009-08-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

Move Along

Sometimes, i'm not so sure
Sometimes, i just don't fit
Sometimes, i think i can
Sometimes, its you i want to meet

Change of environment
Change of rooms
but still the same heart,
and your flower still blooms

Sometimes i wonder
Sometimes i see
Sometimes i just want to
wonder and think, of you and me

At times i'm unsure
if you like me or not
At times i think
Advice is really what i should have sought

If you will, please
tell me if i'm worth it
If you will, please
tell me if i'm not worth it...

Sometimes i want to know
at others, i think i already do,
Sometimes i just wish that
you would give me more than just a clue

I really love you, i really do
and sometimes i just want to let you know
but when you're sad and when you're down
i know you'll wish me, to keep it unknown

Yes i do love you
and i always have
but sometimes i wonder,
if you ever have...

I do make mistakes,
i do tell lies,
but let me make up
with my care and concern...

Lie to you? i won't
Hate you? i shan't
But if one day i ever do,
may i be condemned to never want...

Please give me
just a clue
so i know that
i can still love you

2009-08-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

I Will Tell You I Love You (I Really Will)

I don't know if you will read this,
but i'm guessing you never will.
However there is something i wish to say,
even if you hate me still...

On the 24th of august,
On that fine day,
I will attempt to meet you,
And say something i wish to say...

I will find you under the sun,
unless you will me not.
But i sure will tell you,
what for i have fought...

I will tell you, what i feel,
and hope you do the same,
If i stand no chance against a valient knight,
then may i be filled with shame.

I wish for you to come to me,
let me hold you by your hand.
Let me guide you through this world,
Tall and strong, we shall stand...

Danger, danger, is what i sense,
may i not be deceived...
However if i really do pass on,
There is something i can give...

My love, my love, what tender pain
it has been through to see this day,
i hope that you will take it,
and not no that you will say...

I love you, i really do,
please try to understand.
I know we're not the closest of friends,
but i hope this love, we can mend...

So if you read this today, tomorrow,
or even on Sunday,
i hope you know how much i love you,
and all the things, i wish to say...

I will tell you on Monday,
With high hopes i shall stand.
It may come all crumbling down,
But this is all, i wish to amend....

I dont want this misunderstanding,
I dont want this hate...
You may say no if it pleases you so,
But i hope that this, is not my fate.

All i seek is you,
or my life will be in a mess
And all i want to hear on Monday,
is nothing more that just a yes...

Please say yes
because i truly am sincere,
Upon all my words, i vow to you
my love is not just mere...

Yes, you have your will of heart,
and fall in love you will,
even if i'm not the one,
respect your decision, i will...

Until you say i don't stand a chance,
I will perservere to the end,
even if love we do not share,
I'm sure we can still be friends

But for now, all i pray,
is for your answer to be yes,
Just one word from you,
may make our lives a total success =]

I love you
From,
QuannRUi ~ LoveDrunk... with your sweet, sweet love...

2009-08-15T01:39:00.001-07:00

Moving soon. This is pure exhaustion. Must pack and pack and pack. =s so many project some more.
New skin, so i still lazy fix everything, though there are 2 tagboards 0o
Going to have training soon. haha chionging down my lunch while blogging.
No idea what to say. Still as confused and...

2009-08-04T04:40:00.000-07:00

To fight, to struggle, to lug...
To walk, to run, to crawl...
To my undying determination...
They're all not up to expectations...
I dont want to run, to walk, to crawl...
I dont want to fight, to struggle, to lug...
I want to soar, soar in the sky,
where birds so free, they can fly...
I want to win, win for someone,
Win, so that i can pursue what i want...

I want, i want, but will i get?
I hate, i hate, but will it avoid?
Whats the use of winning,
if love in this world is so devoid?

Winning is not everything,
but everything, is achieving...
achieving is what i want,
What i want, is the love of someone...

To achieve, to win, to soar,
To be able to run on forever more...
I must believe, i must work,
Because i know what it feels like to be in the lurk...

And here i pledge to myself,
upon all the books on my shelf,
That i will perservere, and fight on,
for what i believe in, and so on...

2009-08-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

Hate you? Love you? Friend you?
See you? talk to you? play with you?
Ignore you? hate you? beat you?
OR should i just compromise with you?...

Everyday, everynight,
i think of her under the bright, moon light...
Under the same sun as Merlin's fight,
trying to forget with all my might...

But you came in, like a flying glaive,
Killing me off, and going her to save...
Leaving me to die,
and under the same sun i lie...

I fight with all my might,
To stand up for the light...
But the sky stared down on me,
and that reminded so did you...

Now confusion takes over...
Love is more than just a flower...
The complexity of it all...
The ease to make others fall...

2009-07-30T05:14:00.000-07:00

When you look up, what do you see?
You see the sky, the sun, the clouds, and ever beyond...
When i look up, what do i see?
I see the moon and the stars, because my world is always shrouded and there're only a few speckles of hope no bigger than a fickle...

Its like today, its like everyday... its just like everyday...
It pains, when i look and everyone ignores...
it pains, when i walk past and no one knows, because even ghosts give a chill...
it pains, when what i do changes nothing, when even plants do something...
it pains, because even a fly gets more attention than me...

When no one looks, when no one sees,
this is when i see the true me.
Not in the mirror, not in the water,
but truly, deep inside the core of me...

No, the world's not about me, yes i know. The world never is about anyone...
When i make my change big enough, you'll see,
at least i hope you do... i just want to be friends again...
At least... talk to me...

2009-07-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

To live everyday,
to see every night...
to walk my roads,
to run my paths...
Is everyday worth that much?

I learn, i fall,
i'm learning to fall...
i talk, i lie,
but i don't depend on lies...

Everyone makes mistakes,
But not everyone has what it takes.
It take more than just time,
to come a man, than the Grand Clock's chime...

If everyone can make mistakes,
Why can't i?
if, because of me, the world starts to shake,
will i be the one coming to your mind?

Why is it, that everything is so unfair,
that everything is so unright,
that everything is just so bare,
and everything, we have to fight...

I wish for the world to give me a second chance, to change, to become better... but the world seems to push my words away.
I wish for the world to forgive my sins, to make amends, and to turn another way...
But alas, this world is more than unfair...
No second chances, no more extra care...

2009-07-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

Run away, to a faraway place...
where no one knows me, so i can
start again... just tie my shoelace....
and run as far as i can...

Don't follow me,
because you're better off without me,
i can, truly see....
just let me peacefully leave...

Another peaceful night,
Another inspiring light...
Another day, another bright...
Another futile fight...

Another hopeless dream,
Another fading gleam...
Another wrong, another right,
Another fading might...

Trying'ta decide, trying'ta decide...
if i really wanna run away tonight...
All the screams, all the bruises,
all the familiar abuses...
I'll kick and scream,
and never change anything...

To run away, to lay low,
to go against all the societal flows...
Drink up, all the way down,
even though you know it knocks you out...

To run away...

2009-07-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

Carry on, you won't miss me when i'm gone...
Yea... I'm guilty, guilty of everything...
I'll run away, coz i gotta find a place where no one knows me....
i wanna go so far...
yea... im guilty, guilty of every change...

Because... without me...
You will be free,
free without me....
you're free...without me....

Settle down, with your feets chained to the ground...
Just sit down, quietly,
and watch me...
watch as i fade away...

Throw away those horoscopes,
and don't you ever give up hope,
for you will be free... without me...

But before you let me fall...
kill me so i dont feel it at all...
strap me against the wall...
and pick your poison
coz everything feels wrong...
and i don't know where i belong...
i'll learn to love the pain...
because thats the only way i will know how to feel...

One day, ill be free too...
and i'll run the miles, all again...
this time, its without you...
but instead a different name...

Hot sweat and blurry eyes,
I'm spinning like a roller coaster ride,
the worlds... stuck in black and white...

The day we met was like a hit and run,
It came in one second and boom its gone,
We barely had time to enjoy the fun...

My heart was burning up like fireworks,
you made me want you oh so bad it hurt,
You were everything ; my rise and my fall

Tonight, not tonight...
Don't leave me tonight...
just reach out for me, one last time

If you could see me now

2009-07-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

If you could see me now,
We could move on somehow
If you could see me now,
Maybe we could forget all this,
If you could see me now...

The nights grow cold,
i think im growing old,
Everyday youre gone,
i feel more lonesome than before

Im tired of being all alone,
why don't you just come to me,
because i miss you so,
and i just want you to know...

If you could see me now,
We could move along somehow,
We could travel all those miles again
and see what where we have gone...

If you could see me now...
If you could see me now...

Copyrighted BLG

Jealousy

2009-07-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

Agony... what does this mean...
Sometimes i think its at its strongest...
at others, i don't understand it at all...
What exactly is wrong with me?
Whats this exceptionally torturous, horrendous...
i don't know anymore...
Is this jealousy?
I guess so...
Coz it only comes everytime i look up,
in front of the class...
Its him, its him...
he's screwing my mind... he's messing with me...
he's the one... but why so...
He's my friend...
doubt he means harm... but it hurts...
to see him with her...
it just seems so perfect... yet it hurts bad...

Perhaps, it should be over soon...
Perhaps, it might never end...
Perhaps, it might develop....
Perhaps, i'm just imagining things....
Perhaps, Perhaps...
Perhaps... but why...

Maybe i shouldn't think about it
Maybe i shouldn't think about her
Maybe i shouldn't think about him
Maybe i shouldn't think about us...
Maybe, maybe... but why...

Why...
Why am i like this?
Why am i like an ass?
Why am i like an extra?
Why, why... but why...

I seek the answers, but they seek me not...
Perhaps i should stop thinking of her...
Maybe i should seek help...
Why am i even thinking about this...

Because i can't stop
Because i can't help it
Because i can't forget it
Because... i can't live without her...

Because,because...
Why,Why...
Maybe,maybe...
Perhaps, perhaps...

I'll look back and ask myself...
why i wasted my time...
why i put myself all this bullshit...
when i didn't mean a thing to you...
and, i'll remember...
because i love you

Why? Perhaps Because Maybe
Most importantly...

-Jealousy
- K.Quan Rui

2009-07-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

“你饿吗？”

“当然俄啦。。。”

“那你要吃什么呢？”

“你要吃什么？”

“不懂啦。。。”

“哪我们今天就吃我们没吃过的东西吧”

“好啊”

我们就这样开始吃饭不饭，粥不粥，面不面的食物。我们第一个吃到的怪食物就是鸭脖子。那边的阿姨跟我们提醒，那鸭脖子是超辣的。听了，伟祺就开始笑我，因为他知道我吃辣的东西时，一定会比小孩子哭得还大声。。。

但我们还是吃完了。其实它也不能算是超级辣。只是吃了之后，在我们的嘴巴留下了一个超级辣的burning aftertaste。可是，那只是我们刚开始吃的时候。吃了一下子之后，我们反而开始喜欢吃鸭脖。。。

我们就在kopitiam找位子座。我们就坐在一个买面的档口外。伟祺坐下来之后，马上就决定我们吃的怪和辣的东西。。。一个叫夫妻肺片手工面。。。我看到它的图片时，想哭起来了。。。

你是无法想象到我们喝下了几罐水。。。
我花了大概六块买水喝。。。真是天下第一辣。。。比鸭脖的burning sensation还要辣。。。
伟祺就和我开玩笑。他说以后一定要带妻子来吃这个夫妻肺片手工面，说“如果爱我的话，就把这碗面吃完吧！”
吃完甜品过后，我们就上147号巴士上，一起回家了。。

The Pain

2009-07-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

Life is just like a bus ride,
trudges on,
bumps on,
rocks on,
moves on...
Rain or shine,
it still moves on...
Swerving away blocks,
within its means...
Its just like life...
so...
simple...
yet with additional material added...
can become so complex...
I don't see it...
That reason...
That thing...
That theory...
That concept...
That figure of imagination...
Something they call...
Love...

I don't see it...
All my friends do...
Why don't i?
Why is it that i don't?
Why is it so...
They all have the common topic,
I'm the only odd one out...
because,
a bee can only sting once...
after you take its honey...

Thy sting, shalt sting me again...
but not today,
not tomorrow...
but why, and oh
it just hurts so bad...
its worse than venom...
its worse than cramps...
its worse that nightmares...
It hurts... because
i don't want to admit it...

Its not easy to admit,
because its hurt me before
Its not easy to submit,
because it might hurt again afterall...
Love...
Four letters, but numerous meanings...
Love, love
love, love, love, love....

New-born Nihilist

2009-07-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

Nihilism... i guess its the most perfect word ever invented by man.

Its the word, which saves you so much time and energy in expressing yourself by just compressing it into eight letters...

Its the word, which allows you to group yourself with others alike...

Its the word, which best describes me...

Nihilism...

The definition of Nihilism on Merriam Webster ; a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless b: a doctrine that denies any objective ground of truth and especially of moral truths

In other words, existence is shit. Everything is just bullshit, and you're the one who's been chosen to endure it all.

Your neighbor is bullshit.

Your dog is bullshit

Your "friends" are all bullshit

Your life is total bullshit

Everything is...

screwed...

It takes a heck load of things to endure, before a new nihilist appears...

but to think of it,

it just takes little actions from you,

to create devastating impacts on others...

Don't do it anymore...

it hurts...

bad...

Everyone

2009-06-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

You know... if there's one thing I've learnt as a moron, it's that its no use bottling up all that vulgarities, all that shit you want to spit at someone. If anyone has a dispute or something you don't like about it, spit it out. Keeping it only makes it worse for you and me. I might just give all that shit back to you.

Now, since certain boundaries have been cleared, i shall continue on expressing my hatred for this world...

Its not my fault i'm born thinner than you, lighter than you, weaker than you, dumber than you.

Its not my fault you don't like me, you can't look up to me, or simply, you can't accept that i look down on you.

Yes, you can't see it, you can't feel it, but you know it

Some people don't like me, dislike me, hate me, despise me, look down on me, and they realise their status is of no difference.

Humans are born with the mindset that, if i'm tougher than you, im taller than you, i'm stronger than you, then i'm your superior, your successor.

I don't give a shit about that

What's a democracy for anyway, if not for making everyone equal.

To all those who look down on others, really, think about it yourselves...

Who are you to look down on others. Who are you to call someone a dog. Who are you to call yourself a superior to someone. WHO ARE YOU TO SAY YOU'RE BORN BETTER THAN SOMEONE.

Yes, you can be in certain aspects, you can mock them, you can taunt them for all you want BUT KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES you assholes...

I've learnt more than enough to be saying this even though i'm not showing it but believe me when i say i know who has done others wrong.

To me, when you look down on someone, you're worth looking down on.

You wear that mask of being tough, superior, more royal and all that shit and what's it for...

Acting cool? Acting big? or for what miscellaneous reason you're hiding deep down?

I don't care 'cause if you are, then rip it off.

Even if it takes you forever, you'll learn that its of no use...

Your friends will ignore you

Your friends start drifting further and further away

Because you think you're superior due to your size.

You don't see it now, because the gap is too small and only big enough for you to look down on some.

Pretty soon, it'll take over, and it wont just be me...

It'll be...

Everyone

Yesterday

2009-06-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday is the past, like the broken winds that blew in the summer...

Today is what makes us do what we will...

Today, is friday and i shall depict all that happened in the hope that you can comprehend what i have been through..

7a.m- Woke up, couldn't be bothered to get up, fell to sleep again -.-

9a.m- Woke up, saw my brother wake up and get down, but i still couldn't be bothered and fell to sleep again...

1040a.m- Phone rings... 'mornin' adalric'

'I'm walking to your house now. Get ready'

By this time i just realized my alarm clock didn't ring and it was 1040

'Kay...'

Fell to sleep again... -.-

1045a.m- Bro comes up and tells me adalric's already in the house...

Okay... so i wake up, splashed cold water on my face and walks down like a dead man to greet the fresh Adalric in his P.E uniform.

Ya... the norms... he asks for the laptop and i can't produce it-.-

yup.. then training... life weights... spiking... the norms...

The whole day just went by until 745 p.m...

And i went for the rehydration jab and finally, it seemed to be THE THING that woke me up -.-

The whole day was simply... jetlag...

after that i still went to play table tennis with a useless left arm -.-

You know... it really sucks when you know you can very easily beat the opponent but you have to play it their way to keep the rally up... Its so SIMPLE... just a spin and they're all gone... Where's the kick in that...

So, i have to just hit back in a very simple way and NOT own them for the fun would be gone if i did... And i think they were not happy or something... criticizing me on how i spun the ball... Hey man i don't care if its your right or my wrong all i care is i can own you flat...

SHEESH

Went home, bathed, ate, and here i am depicting this whole boring day to you on my chair...

Any outings, please tell me i feel like a bird in a cage at home...

But the past few days were quite ok though haha

-Q.R...

Crush

2009-01-12T06:57:00.000-08:00

Ok today training... as usual

Going to have training for 4 days for the next few weeks because of zonals

whoopee~~...

today adalric very serious.

played match against b girls then Marvin keep scold him bad setter or what.

Then i accident receive wrong...

He "cb... can jie properly or not?!"

then i said ok. what else to say i mean -.-

He very serious throughout the rest of the game

Got one part i mixed up with Ryan who to receive the ball.

Marvin so pissed he said all go home don't play already and he left when the score was something like 4-7.

After that, came the real seriousness. Everyone tried to do everything right

Ending that time the score was 11-22 we losing by 11 points

Then, came the moment of brilliance when we brought it to something like 18-24.

saved the ball become 19-24.

Adalric turn to serve.

The cool breeze blew past... hair ruffling like some cowboy taking his last shot (JKJK)

He served.

It floated... over the net

Libero misses the ball and one point is scored.

This cycle repeated 7 times and we won.

All thanks to a great leader, named Adalric.

This will be the last time i write a hero story -.-

Go back, tired like hell and still have to study su yu and cheng yu and yan yu.

Waited for adalric and ryan today. bus come that time so full that i didnt even catch a glimpse of adalric before he alighted.

At least i didn't travel home alone all the way to the terminal.

There's ryan with me lol.

Ending the day... HALF DONE WITH SU YU -.-

2009-01-08T03:24:00.001-08:00

Today training.

Become chinese rep -.-.... lol Wei Qi CIP rep coz tio sabo.

then, got training nothing different from today then other days

STILL LAUGHING AT WEI QI about the blue sky and big ocean...

"what colour would you choose to represent your class, and why?"

"blue. because it is the colour of the sky and the sea and they are big."

the whole auditorium laugh until heads could roll

My origami not accepted. Quite expected, though i dont really see why.

Maybe just because chair person got personal grudge with me or something that cannot be revealed or something

i don't mind. 3 plasters for 3 papercuts and 3 hours isnt much...

I notice Miss Kal Chan very scary. Smile throughout the whole LA lesson (with the reputation of scary and fierce teacher)

Today ended with some bang.... Led Yu Teng father the wrong way... so sorry Yu Teng.

Now, to fold more origami in secret and see if tomorrow can -.- i have no idea why i'm wasting my time on this.

Oh ya, now i shall make a solemn promise to myself

i solemnly swear that i shall study hard...

Restrict computer games to weekends only

Do my homework properly

Try not to copy...

Be a good person...

Make do with the fact i am naturally translucent. takes me two times to say hi to get one hi into others' minds.

Mischief Managed...

2009-01-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

I think of it now as a dream I had long ago

In a far away land of lost time

In the forests of evening where the archers bend their bows

And you would bring them, bread and wine

Down the ligneous years the invaders have taken this land..

And bent you to their will

And the murmurous whispers of ancients they had

But the magic lingers around you still

Who will keep track of our own time

And keep a watch along the boarder line

And who will hear legends passed in song and rhyme

Upon the flute of Merlin’s time

One day..

2009-01-05T05:17:00.000-08:00

I want something to write

I know my blog is darn boring and its ok if you darn well dont want to see it.

I just want something to write

so i can remember

What happened

when i was 14

at that very year

2009

which i had enjoyed so darn well much

This is something i wont erase and i will look at it at 2069.

When im 74

and i can start wondering

if i ever made the right choice...

Training... yea... My receiving still horrible as ever but bound to improve..

AMAZINGLY, i participated in spiking(something i sucked at and sth marvin dosent usually let me do)

Today... i just want to make right choices... and for once stop the way i used to do...

My grammar sucks... hasnt always been like that...

Today is a gift, thats why its called a present...

And we appreciate presents, don't we?

So why not appreciate and cherish today... together.

2009-01-02T03:31:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year... 2008 fades into one of the many other past years...
And the downfall of the society... STOCK MARKET DROP LIKE SHIT... so cant shift house...

Start of school, for some reason i am SF...
Com lab 2 with Wei Lu must remember that... haha-.-
Homework ar... havent finish... die..
Training cancelled... cant wait for the next one.
Nothing to say...

2008-12-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

Not been blogging recently... hais so sick and tired of this stupid same routine....
wake up, eat, bathe, training, bathe, eat, eat, sleep....

first eat=BRUNCH ( we've been having tis ALOT recently)
second eat= bread (coz Marvin says its important... helps us grow TALLLLLL)
third eat= dinner...

And holiday homeworks are still on my list... UNCANCELLED...

My volleyball is getting from bad to worse.... today just played centre spiker... First time i played =D.
receiving still the same rank; CMI.... Spiking always been the same; CMI...
One day, I'll make it ( dont laff)...
Christmas is coming.....
Happy belated bday wei lu... ps didnt go with u that day...D=

Ok i started playing Delphinus on maple not long ago... AND i joined my cousins guild...(UndeadHeaven)... AND i met someone i shouldnt have met in the same guild. SOMEONE from dhs... i know you are not reading this... =S

2008-12-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

haha today 3 matches ALL WIN though i could tell captain was damn pissed with me....

Today didnt really receive the ball very well... not very sure of covering either. mixed up with wei lu... sorry...
Serving was quite ok.... missed 2 or 3 times... well overall i MUST IMPROVE... work for new dreams, not improving old ones...

nothing to say de... so sian...

once again,sorry captain...

2008-12-03T05:25:00.001-08:00

Back from taiwan after so long... so damn nice place. average temperature is 18degrees i think(if you consider day and night)

day 1
arrive at taiwan... drive to hotel around 1 hour... the tour guide very funny. The bus got the karaoke thing, then he dian3 ge2 to give people sing, end up he dian his own ge then he say "ni3 bu4 yao4 chang4 wo1 jiu4 chang4" then he start singing -.-
Went to Shi Lin night market.... didnt see yu he there lol. so damn crowded and didnt buy much. Adalric and 1 bought 1 shirt each coz 2 shirt got discount...

day 2
Played at Ming Hu. they so damn pro... Marvin played for A boys ( team was Mr Tay, Mr Ng, Marvin, Yuan Wei, Benjamin and Wai Siang). Marvin spike so dam zai i think blocker finger break already.
Our match i stand there like statue dunno what to do. Marvin change here change there, so confusing. i qian pai den cannot jie. texture of floor different, temperature also different, want to fan gun also cannot. Totally useless, lose because of me.
After the matches, we went to the democracy hall. It was built in the name of a president, who helped the country when they were at war. When he passed away, the citizens were so sad that they lost a good leader that they built the memorial in his name.
Then, it came to the ceramics. Yu Teng's disaster recipe NUMBER 1. Mash up all that clay thing with the "glue" of some sort to stick parts together. -.-
Dinner was the fun part. STEAMBOAT, then after that got the chou1 tou1 fu3. play scissors,paper stone then loser eat. last round i play then left me and adalric, den we dun want to make 1 person eat all, so we split.

day 3

THE NATIONAL PALACE MUSEUM. Worse than your history teacher barking in front of the class. Nothing to do... -.-
Then we went to jiu fen street, which according to the book, its a popular taiwan movie spot.
Dinner at that place. Then we were SUPPOSED to enjoy the scenery, but sky dark already, nothing to see at all.
Went to Xi Men Ding and played ARCADE... everyone played basketball and the catch sweet thing( just that its not sweet. it was like those little little toys)

day 4
went to Ching sui high school in the morning. 3 hours of lessons. first hour was CHINESE, but then teacher change to "Learning About Singapore" lesson and ask us everything. second was MUSIC, and JUST BECAUSE I OPENED MY DAMNED BIG MOUTH and sing when they were practising for the exam, they saw me then we kena sabo have to sing in front of everyone "niu2 zai3 hen3 mang2" by zhou jie lun.
When yu teng got the mike dat time he dont sing, den teacher have to give it back to me -.-
third was ENGLISH. They were learning Santa Claus, Reindeer, Gingerbread man, Christmas Carols, Presents and all these words. Piece of pie.

Now, about the not lesson part. After chinese, there was a like 5 min break. so we went outta the classroom. All the pupils all follow. We were like 0_o. We go toilet also wait outside. All the girl all run to Rui Zheng ask him take photo. haha i stand next to Rui Zheng that time the girl ask if she can stand next to Rui Zheng. then i siam out of the photo. They ask for our msn, hp number and email. 0_o Captain was the hottest.

Day 5
Return to singapore... (which is today). well, i was going to MISS TAIWAN... wonderful place i have never enjoyed myself so much... sad that wei lu and wei qiang cannot come.

Taiwan- Touch Your Heart

Crumble

2008-11-28T03:59:00.000-08:00

Haha so sorry so long never update. Rather busy with the matches AND entertaining Terence.
Well, we lost all 4 matches but its ok, because all other coaches said it was no easy task beating us (according to Marvin)
Main thing is, i didn't do anything
To watch your team crumble in helplessness is nothing to feel good about
In fact, it cant get any worse...
Sigh, one day i'll make it up... Today,tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or the next decade...
it will happen, i trust.

So damn sick of life... Nothing to do in this STRETCHING holidays that seem to grow longer...
Pls call me if you have any jobs....
Nothing to say. See you when i return from Taiwan..

Lyrics from The Great Escape-Boys Like Girls

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

Tonight will change our lives
It's so good to be by your side
But we'll cry
We won't give up the fight
We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs
And they'll think it's just cause we're young
And we'll feel so ALIVE

[Chorus]

All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight

New Vision, Yet Old Sights

2008-11-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

I just got my new spects... coz the other one got smashed in training...
Gosh now i hate this timetable.....
This sports community is RUSHING EVERYTHING and placing our matches on Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday and Thursday
WORST OF ALL, our opponents look like messengers from hell.
Xinmin(wtf they thrashed all the others) , CCHY( we've lost all our friendly matches with them), Yishun town(dosent sound so bad) and Catholic High(ok we can win this... i hope)

Training
Marvin changed the 3 groups... i swapped groups with Yu Teng... for some reason the group i swapped to won... haha.
i did First ball training.... ouch... Yuan Wei serve so pain >.<
Then i did spiking training... Yuan Wei(being the best spiker in A boys) SPIKED SO FRICKIN HARD...
Did push ups, sit ups(v), back arch and S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G... Wei Lu almost cried when Marvin stretched him haha.

Taiwan trip NEXT SATURDAY... i dont know how im feeling now... haha not even sure whether im looking forward to it. Yu He, hope to see u there HAHA.

Now i totally have nothing to do...........................Pls call me if you have any jobs or tag =D ty

Good is Bad

2008-11-20T04:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i decided to come to Terence's house, coz i was so bored i had nothing to do and besides, it was the day he was going to get his PSLE results, one day i shouldn't miss out COZ HES MY COUSIN.
He did quite well (according to himself)... with a score of 219... Justin got 224,Yu He i not too sure... ya they had around the same score.
OK after he came back from getting his results, he found me hogged up at the computer, because it was the only thing in his house that i could do... He was spectating as i tried out Maple's new job, Pirate. Not bad... after 15 minutes, he asked if he could play. I said ok, you can have the computer.. i had to stop sooner or later anyway, so why not stop now i said to myself.
He played, his assasin account and ya soon he got bored and turned it off. During dinner, he said "Can you go home tomorrow and download maple or not? i want to play here then you keep come and snatch"
"ok" though i dont mean it xP
what did i do wrong? i didnt snatch. he was out getting his PSLE results and i was just at home hogging the computer. He asked, i gave. whats wrong?
He's young and immature at heart, i guess haha. good thing Ter dosent know my blog xP.
Ya well now im here, blogging out all my thoughts for fun.... If anyone has anything to do for me PLEASE let me know even if it concerns me getting outta the house on non training days. =D holidays suck...
I cant do anything... i hate the holidays and for once i am saying it.
Next time, when i grow up i'll regret what i just said. Haha but NOT YET. YET =p
Desmond's a very nice guy haha hes 17, tall and suave (183cm in height)
He TALKS, until ter. HE SMILES, unlike ter.HE JOKES, unlike ter -.- im such a bad boy talking about ter behind his back haha =D. now im getting wu liao....
nevermind... thats all for now haha. Read on next time ty=D

Walk Away, Dont look BACK

2008-11-19T02:55:00.000-08:00

Today was really... normal... training as usual...
Woke up at like 9 and started getting ready to meet Yu Teng at Hougang mrt... Sometimes i never want to wake up at all...
We were ordered to buy bread though the team dosent really APPRECIATE it. Nevermind... no choice. Mr Ng's orders.
OK so Mr Ng told us to buy soya bean too from ABC bargain centre "cheapest shop in singapore". ok so we could find that (long long da da bao de soya bean as described by marvin) so we bought 9 cans. Went back to the gym and then marvin said we bought WRONGLY. Ok, first time i got pissed off. Carrying that plastic bag for SUCH A LONG distance all to have been ordered to CARRY IT BACK and ASK FOR A REFUND.
OK, we carried that thing back and asked for refund.
"I'm sorry sir no refund is allowed"
"why not?"
"My manager is not here"
(damn this cashier)
OK, nevermind we shall have to deduct... from our own pockets... OK forget it at most i buy i cheaper pair of shoes with the cash dad gave me. Hmph so pissed i cant find that soya bean marvin wants. OK, patience is the key... IT TAKES TIME...
(45 mins later) OK im at the front of shop n save which i never knew existed in ghim moh\
UGH i went in and after hunting FOUND this da da chang chang de soya bean and bought the TOTALLY UNSUGARED one (coz marvin asked for it).

TRAINING= ok i didnt do anything coz i burnt my time HUNTING DOWN THOSE SOYA BEAN. well after that marvin split us into 3 groups of 3, group 1 = timothy, wei lu and adalric. group 2 = benedict, ryan and i. group 3 = wei qiang, yuan wei and yu teng. We played against one another and "loser out" system was deployed. My group lost the worst... timothy's group owned everyone...

OK, after that we played a friendly match. Main team vs mr ng, wei qiang, wah siang, yuan wei, mr tay and i. ok we won, not coz of me ... lol.

end of training... we ate that bread me and yu teng bought. (in order not to be some bloody act "comedian" as said by someone, i have deleted the text which used to be here)

Resuts... What you want yet something you dont want

2008-11-18T06:06:00.000-08:00

Sembawang
Ok we won that match BUT we have lots to learn... We didn't win the match. They lost it. If you know what i mean... They flawed to lose. We didnt fight to win. So we didnt win. They lost. We won 2-1. Weird thing is i actually played ... =_=
Anderson
Ok we lost this match, but i believe Timothy and Ryan played their best. Rui Zheng was awesome that day... Nothing much to say. Marvin had A LOT to say. "wa benedict that ball you should have just gang over instead of trying to pai over. Ryan you must an the qiu when you block..." and so on.

That day, i went to the LAN with my cousin... and i only played 2 hours due to the match timing WHICH IS SO IRRITATING. Its smack right in the middle of the afternoon. i mean if you put it EARLY in the morning i'll be even happier cause i have the WHOLE afternoon to play. Never mind. DHS more important haha =D

BURNING HATREDS
OK, before you forget about the volleyball results, i have something to say.Today, as i was at the sidelines cheering the main team on, there was this particular QIFA guy who pissed me off.He cheered for anderson all the while(nothing wrong with that) BUT when Adalric spiked out by accident, he said "noob shit". I wanted to give him a piece of my mind and ask him to get his butt out there and show me all that he's f**king got. QIFA was OUT of the tournament already, and kicked out in the first round some more. Dare to come and call my vice captain noob shit when he was the person who led us to victory against Dunman Sec. Ugh must forget about him, cause hes not worth a piece of my time.

Thats all i have to say for now...May time have been fruitfully spent

Losing

2008-11-16T17:48:00.000-08:00

You can't win everything, even though you hope to
You can't lose everything, even if you suck
You lose, then you win, so take steps slowly
Winning isn't everything,so don't just think about winning
The important thing in life is not the triumph, but the struggle
Learn To Lose

Monday morning
Before i continue, i would like to say a belated happy birthday to my captain, whos birthday is on the 16th of november every year.
OK, so todays match is against Sembawang. Good luck? Confidence will get you through.

Apparently, life hasn't been very good. Some people are just plain unreasonable but, they have their reasons to. Recently, not much of really communicating with friends but I'll try to more.
Everyday is just getting slaughtered in training. Morning you wake up, just maybe bathe or something before you LEAVE your house and head off to Mount Sinai... Enter the gym and the slaughtering starts.

One day, i will regret what i have said and start saying i'd rather get slaughtered then to go to work... But NOT today

Start of a blog

2008-11-15T08:17:00.001-08:00

OK im totally new to this blogging thing so ya, i have no idea how to link. please teach me lol.
C div volleyball boys DHS
Congratulations for beating Dunman Sec. On that day Timothy was so happy he cried. That goes out to show he didnt train the shit out of himself everyday for nothing. Apparently, even MARVIN said we exceeded his expectations. How RARE is that? apparently you dont get to see that everyday...
While everyone starts celebrating like Superman just saved the world or something, I'm still just a sideliner, who didnt really do much but to give my moral support.
Calvin
ok calvin i am so sorry to have quarreled with you that day. I didnt mean to and i hope you understand that.
That should be everything i have to say i guess?
The holidays crawl on...For once homework seems like heaven...