When you look up, what do you see? You see the sky, the sun, the clouds, and ever beyond... When i look up, what do i see? I see the moon and the stars, because my world is always shrouded and there're only a few speckles of hope no bigger than a fickle...
Its like today, its like everyday... its just like everyday... It pains, when i look and everyone ignores... it pains, when i walk past and no one knows, because even ghosts give a chill... it pains, when what i do changes nothing, when even plants do something... it pains, because even a fly gets more attention than me...
When no one looks, when no one sees, this is when i see the true me. Not in the mirror, not in the water, but truly, deep inside the core of me...
No, the world's not about me, yes i know. The world never is about anyone... When i make my change big enough, you'll see, at least i hope you do... i just want to be friends again... At least... talk to me...
/
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
To live everyday, to see every night... to walk my roads, to run my paths... Is everyday worth that much?
I learn, i fall, i'm learning to fall... i talk, i lie, but i don't depend on lies...
Everyone makes mistakes, But not everyone has what it takes. It take more than just time, to come a man, than the Grand Clock's chime...
If everyone can make mistakes, Why can't i? if, because of me, the world starts to shake, will i be the one coming to your mind?
Why is it, that everything is so unfair, that everything is so unright, that everything is just so bare, and everything, we have to fight...
I wish for the world to give me a second chance, to change, to become better... but the world seems to push my words away. I wish for the world to forgive my sins, to make amends, and to turn another way... But alas, this world is more than unfair... No second chances, no more extra care...
/
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Run away, to a faraway place... where no one knows me, so i can start again... just tie my shoelace.... and run as far as i can...
Don't follow me, because you're better off without me, i can, truly see.... just let me peacefully leave...
Another peaceful night, Another inspiring light... Another day, another bright... Another futile fight...
Another hopeless dream, Another fading gleam... Another wrong, another right, Another fading might...
Trying'ta decide, trying'ta decide... if i really wanna run away tonight... All the screams, all the bruises, all the familiar abuses... I'll kick and scream, and never change anything...
To run away, to lay low, to go against all the societal flows... Drink up, all the way down, even though you know it knocks you out...
To run away...
/
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Carry on, you won't miss me when i'm gone... Yea... I'm guilty, guilty of everything... I'll run away, coz i gotta find a place where no one knows me.... i wanna go so far... yea... im guilty, guilty of every change...
Because... without me... You will be free, free without me.... you're free...without me....
Settle down, with your feets chained to the ground... Just sit down, quietly, and watch me... watch as i fade away...
Throw away those horoscopes, and don't you ever give up hope, for you will be free... without me...
But before you let me fall... kill me so i dont feel it at all... strap me against the wall... and pick your poison coz everything feels wrong... and i don't know where i belong... i'll learn to love the pain... because thats the only way i will know how to feel...
One day, ill be free too... and i'll run the miles, all again... this time, its without you... but instead a different name...
Hot sweat and blurry eyes, I'm spinning like a roller coaster ride, the worlds... stuck in black and white...
The day we met was like a hit and run, It came in one second and boom its gone, We barely had time to enjoy the fun...
My heart was burning up like fireworks, you made me want you oh so bad it hurt, You were everything ; my rise and my fall
Tonight, not tonight... Don't leave me tonight... just reach out for me, one last time
If you could see me now /
Saturday, July 25, 2009
If you could see me now, We could move on somehow If you could see me now, Maybe we could forget all this, If you could see me now...
The nights grow cold, i think im growing old, Everyday youre gone, i feel more lonesome than before
Im tired of being all alone, why don't you just come to me, because i miss you so, and i just want you to know...
If you could see me now, We could move along somehow, We could travel all those miles again and see what where we have gone...
If you could see me now... If you could see me now...
Copyrighted BLG
Jealousy /
Friday, July 24, 2009
Agony... what does this mean... Sometimes i think its at its strongest... at others, i don't understand it at all... What exactly is wrong with me? Whats this exceptionally torturous, horrendous... i don't know anymore... Is this jealousy? I guess so... Coz it only comes everytime i look up, in front of the class... Its him, its him... he's screwing my mind... he's messing with me... he's the one... but why so... He's my friend... doubt he means harm... but it hurts... to see him with her... it just seems so perfect... yet it hurts bad...
Perhaps, it should be over soon... Perhaps, it might never end... Perhaps, it might develop.... Perhaps, i'm just imagining things.... Perhaps, Perhaps... Perhaps... but why...
Maybe i shouldn't think about it Maybe i shouldn't think about her Maybe i shouldn't think about him Maybe i shouldn't think about us... Maybe, maybe... but why...
Why... Why am i like this? Why am i like an ass? Why am i like an extra? Why, why... but why...
I seek the answers, but they seek me not... Perhaps i should stop thinking of her... Maybe i should seek help... Why am i even thinking about this...
Because i can't stop Because i can't help it Because i can't forget it Because... i can't live without her...
I'll look back and ask myself... why i wasted my time... why i put myself all this bullshit... when i didn't mean a thing to you... and, i'll remember... because i love you
Life is just like a bus ride, trudges on, bumps on, rocks on, moves on... Rain or shine, it still moves on... Swerving away blocks, within its means... Its just like life... so... simple... yet with additional material added... can become so complex... I don't see it... That reason... That thing... That theory... That concept... That figure of imagination... Something they call... Love...
I don't see it... All my friends do... Why don't i? Why is it that i don't? Why is it so... They all have the common topic, I'm the only odd one out... because, a bee can only sting once... after you take its honey...
Thy sting, shalt sting me again... but not today, not tomorrow... but why, and oh it just hurts so bad... its worse than venom... its worse than cramps... its worse that nightmares... It hurts... because i don't want to admit it...
Its not easy to admit, because its hurt me before Its not easy to submit, because it might hurt again afterall... Love... Four letters, but numerous meanings... Love, love love, love, love, love....
New-born Nihilist /
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Nihilism... i guess its the most perfect word ever invented by man.
Its the word, which saves you so much time and energy in expressing yourself by just compressing it into eight letters...
Its the word, which allows you to group yourself with others alike...
Its the word, which best describes me...
Nihilism...
The definition of Nihilism on Merriam Webster ;a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and uselessb: a doctrine that denies any objective ground of truth and especially of moral truths
In other words, existence is shit. Everything is just bullshit, and you're the one who's been chosen to endure it all.
Your neighbor is bullshit.
Your dog is bullshit
Your "friends" are all bullshit
Your life is total bullshit
Everything is...
screwed...
It takes a heck load of things to endure, before a new nihilist appears...
but to think of it,
it just takes little actions from you,
to create devastating impacts on others...
Don't do it anymore...
it hurts...
bad...
About ME! you know, BOOMZ
Kwok Quan Rui
24 August 1995 HINTS :D
Life's hard...